Have you ever wanted something so badly, but no matter how hard you tried or how much you begged you just couldn't have it? Have you ever felt as if the more you prayed for something the farther from your grasp it crept? I have gone my whole life with the attitude that if I wanted something badly enough, I could have it. I knew that the best things in life aren't just given to you. After this many years, I sit here for the first time wanting something so badly, that I've worked so hard for and I don't have it. Begging. Pleading. Praying. Wishing. Hoping. Nothing. I can't because of a reason that only God knows for sure. I can't because of another person's choices. I can't because I didn't work hard enough while I did have it. Now what?