Happiness

I was browsing through some bumper stickers on facebook and I happened to run across a quote by Bob Dylan. NOT the usual person I would quote, but it caused my mind to contemplate what he really meant and what I drew from it. It said, "Behind every beautiful thing, there is some kind of pain."

Everyone has pain. Everyone has some sort of trial in their life that causes some kind of pain. That's the fact of life. The ability to cope with this reflects our happiness or our "beauty." Sometimes it's easy to perceive a happy, beautiful person and long to be like them, but it's fact that they have some kind of pain. The reason they are beautiful and happy is because they were able to think positive and move forward.

Being able to progress amidst the trials of life makes us beautiful and happy.

What will be your legacy?

As I was going through the security line at the Salt Lake International Airport, I saw a group of people of all ages congregated with a "Welcome Home" sign and video cameras. I used my quick thinking and deducted that they were waiting for the return of a missionary. I WAS in Utah. Intrigued I tried to move as slowly as possible through the line so I could watch the arrival of this missionary. Unfortunately the line was short and I was on the other side. I really wanted to see the excitement on this missionary's face. So I found myself sitting myself down on a comfy seat so I could watch. With hindsight, that was kind of weird. I hope they don't look through there videos and see me! Anyway, I sat there and kept my eyes peeled for a young man wearing a suit and nametag. I didn't see one. However, I did see a senior couple couple wearing tags walking towards the exit. As I heard the screams as the crowd spotted the couple, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Tears welled up in my eyes as the reality of the ripple effect settled in. The senior sister missionary cried out, "There are our kids!" There was her posterity. Her sons, daughters, son-in-laws, daugther-in-laws, grandbabies and other people that were affected by her. How wonderful of a feeling that must've been to see just a small portion of people who loved you dearly and anticipated your arrival. People who missed you.

I look forward to the day where my children and grandchildren can "welcome me home" with such love and excitement. I pray that I can be such a woman of integrity, to leave my legacy.

My camera's battery was dead, or I would've stalkerishly tried to sneak a picture. I wanted to remember the emotions I felt, so I quickly sketched what I saw. :)

Defining Audrey Qualities

I find it is easier to maintain control over my emotions in life when I understand myself.
So, here are the top five things that I've classified as my "defining Audrey qualities."

1) The one thing that brings me the most happiness and the most sadness in my life is the same thing. People. I love people. I love older people, middle aged people, young adults, little kids and especially babies.

I was blessed with the ability to care for others. I love people easily. I will do anything for someone who I care about, so I generally will do anything for anyone if it brings them happiness. I believe that random acts of kindness are the missing pieces in life. This brings me the most happiness.

I care too much for people. When I see someone hurting, I hurt. When someone doesn't live up to his/her potential, I am disappointed. When people are sad, I'm sad. This brings the most sadness in my life.

2) I like to be unique. If I'm in a situation where I feel as if my uniqueness is jeopardized, I leave.

3) I have to feel needed and loved or I shut down and run away.

4) I'm afraid of failure. Because of this I rarely do my best in anything. This only applies to situations where failure could be humiliating. Even though I could care less what others think of me, I would be humiliated if I failed at something. Even if nobody cared, I still would be embarrassed. On the same note, when I put my mind to do something, I'm going to do it well.

5) I love everything. I love all kinds of varieties of movies, foods, books, sports, clothes...everything. I used to think that I was a people pleaser because I liked everything everyone else liked, but I realized, I can be down with anything pretty much.

My life should be made into a comic book.

This was the conversation that my Dad and I were having tonight. While I was cutting cheese for quesadillas.


"Hey Dad, do you know what your midclavicular line is?" - Audrey

"No, what is it?" - Dad

"Well it's..." -Audrey

"[Interrupts] WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT! I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TEACH THEM ANYTHING! YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD HUSBAND!" - DAD

"But Dad...I was just teaching you about your midclavicular line." - Audrey

[Dad Walks Away]

So, while I was talking, I was using a knife to cut the cheese. And instead of cutting AWAY from my hand, I was cutting TOWARDS my hand. So, I was thinking about it and followed up with this.

"Hey Dad. You know what?" - Audrey

"What?" - Dad

"Even if I have a good husband my children are still going do stupid things. Because I had a good dad that taught me not to cut like that and I still did it!" - Audrey

"Yeah, but you're not going to do it anymore are you. Are you..." - Dad

Never again will I doubt my dad's teaching methods.

Joy of Children

Today at work, a woman and her little daughter came into my store. The first thing this little girl did was swing the door open as hard as she could and it made a loud crashing sound. The mom was FURIOUS! She yelled at her daughter. I immediately started laughing, not at the mother yelling, but at the fact that this little girl didn't realize her own strength. It made me think of Elder Wirthlin's talk about laughing in times of stress. I giggled and winked at her, hoping it would keep her from crying. Of course, it didn't faze this little girl too much. She obviously got yelled at frequently. About 2 minutes later I looked over at her and she was staring at these pottery snowmen that my boss makes in amazement. As any curious little girl would do, she reached out to touch. Her mother yelled at her again. "Do NOT touch ANYTHING! You hear me!?" I don't know how the little girl wouldn't have been able to hear her screeching mother. I'm pretty sure all the little kids in Chucke Cheese two stores down from us heard her. The mother asked where some supplements were and I showed her the products she was looking for. We looked over and the little girl was on the floor just carelessly touching any and every supplement close. Her mother yelled at her again and this time the little girl bowed her head and started wimpering. The mother even used the phrase "This lady doesn't like when you touch things!" I of course didn't really care and was a little taken a back that the mother would turn it on me and make it seem like I was the one upset. The little girl looked up at me sadly like she had disappointed me. I just silently smiled, hoping she would know that it was alright. So, the mother started walking near the back of the store and I walked to the register. The little girl followed me and asked "Whatcha doin'?" Her mother immediately followed with, "Stop asking her questions. Leave her alone." I ignored the mother and started a conversation with this girl. I could obviously tell after about 15 questions how her mother found it annoying, but to me it was a curious little girl starving for attention. It made me sad to think that parents get so easily annoyed with their children and treat them in such a way. After spending time with my nephews at a grocery store, I know how hard it is to handle children in public places, but if they treat their children like this in public, how do they treat them at home? No wonder depression is the number one "illness" in America. ADHD and other similar problems in children, to me, can be easily avoided. It all starts in the home. I wanted to take this little girl home with me. Cook up a yummy dinner and read her a story. Cut her long bangs back from her beautiful little eyes and answer any question she could come up with. I know that parents do the best they can, but I wish they would take time to sit back and evaluate themselves. Satan is definitely abroad in the land and he is destroying everything. And guess where he starts. In the home.

Poodle Hair!

Here a few pictures of my new doo. Saturday morning I woke up and thought, "I love curly hair. I'm going to get a perm." So, I rolled out of bed and decided to drag my dear ol' momma to come with me. I don't think she liked it very much, but it'll grow on her. Afterwards, we made our own country song something like this, "My dog died so I permed my hair. I don't need a dog now because I have poodle hair!" (With howling in the background of course). Haha.

What a Pleasant Surprise!

On Monday I was supposed to go pick up dad from the car shop where he left the car. He told me he would start walking and to look for him on the side o the road. I hung up the phone (I was still in bed because I wasn't feeling well), and fell back asleep. I woke up 20 minutes later and was like, "Uh-Oh!" So, I hurry to my car (didn't brush my teeth or even change my clothes, I was still wearing Sunday clothes) and there's the UPS truck in the driveway. I managed to barely slip my car out and just figured a package for dad had come. When we got back to the house, I told him a package had come. He handed me the package and said it was for me. I was shocked, I figured dad had ordered me something and it was going to be a surprise when I opened it. Well, it was a surprise when I opened it, it just wasn't from dad. It was this cute little yellow book and the packing slip said it came from Amy. I was shocked! Pleasantly shocked! It said that this book was to inspire me to write to help me heal (even if I didn't want to heal). So, I immediately took it up to my room and read the whole thing. It was very cute and I loved it. Then, it turns out there was another package! For me again! It was another book. Very thin book that was "To make me laugh." It most definitely made me laugh. It was hilarious. I encourage everyone to read these books. Thank you Amy for that pleasant surprise.